Silly Star Wars Poetry
by Smorelet4077
Summary: The title is pretty self-explanatory - just a collection of silly, random poems about various characters and things in the Star Wars universe. Poem 3: Ten Random Haikus. I still take requests!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi, everybody! So this is the first poem in what will eventually be a series of poems, each devoted to a different Star Wars character. As the title says, they will all be hopelessly silly and Dr. Seuss-like. Enjoy!**

Poem 1: Ode to C3PO

Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,  
You're made of bolts and nuts.  
You've got sheet metal for your skin,  
You've got wires for your guts.  
You're fluent in six million  
Forms of communication;  
Unfortunately, you're useless at  
Most other occupations.

You're honest and straightforward,  
But incapable of having fun.  
You have zero common sense,  
And plenty of horrible puns.  
Those silly ewoks had no clue  
About the real Goldenrod:  
Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,  
They thought you were a god!

Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,  
You're rarely brave in a fight.  
You live in R2's shadow,  
Although it's half your height.  
You're ridiculously servile,  
Addressing all by "sir."  
Your British-butler accent  
Tends to get on my nerves.

You're unbelievably tactless,  
With a knack for screwing things up.  
You're always eager to tell the odds  
When you really should shut up.  
And the way you interrupted  
That kiss romantic and true . . .  
Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,  
I wanted to _dismantle_ you!

But 3PO, wait! Don't take offense,  
'Cause despite your numerous flaws  
You never fail to make me laugh;  
Your antics deserve applause.  
Your pessimism's entertaining;  
Making fun of you is a ball.  
Oh 3PO, oh 3PO,  
You're my favorite droid of all!

**AN: I hope to eventually get around to doing one poem for each major character, and several for minor characters as well (though none will probably be as long as this one!). And like the summary says, I take requests! If you want me to write a poem for Jabba the Hutt's annoying little pet mouse, or if the next chapter absolutely _must_ be the one for Darth Vader, put it in a review or PM! Requests can also be for places, objects, or events (like Naboo, a lightsaber, or the combustion of the Death Star). The only condition is that this character/place/object/event must appear at least briefly in at least one of the six movies, because I am not at all familiar with the EU. Other than that, anything goes! Expect sporadic updates because life has a habit of getting in the way, but I will try my very hardest to keep the poems coming! Now that's quite enough out of me, so request away!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I feel like I've failed you guys. I told one of my reviewers that I'd have this poem up within a week... 4 weeks ago. Excuses? 3 weeks of summer camp and some serious writer's block. Leia is just really hard to write a silly poem about, because she's pretty much the most sane character in the whole Star Wars universe. I'm still not completely happy with the way this poem turned out, but here it is anyway, because I've kept you waiting for long enough. So, without further ado, here is Poem 2: Her Worshipfulness. Kestrel-Jade Walker98 and Darth Vadie, this is for you!  
**

Poem 2: Her Worshipfulness

The Princess Leia, beautiful and short:  
Ornate hairstyles, and makeup sans a flaw,  
Quick-thinking, feisty, good with smart retorts,  
A voice of reason, laying down the law.

A Rebel leader: well she plays this part,  
And gets romantically involved with Han.  
His nicknames: Worship, Highnessness, Sweetheart  
Don't bother her as much as she lets on.

By Vader, she was tortured for her cause,  
And forced to watch her planet be destroyed.  
She later learned that he her father was.  
These truths she bravely chose to not avoid.

Her hardships greatly did her life affect,  
But still her hair and makeup look perfect.

**AN: As always, I love reviews and requests... just don't expect updates too frequently!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: So sorry it's been awhile, but school has been way busier than I anticipated (AP History needs to go die in a hole on Tatooine... preferably in the Sarlacc Pit). I wasn't very inspired to write a whole poem, but did somehow find the creative capacity to write these ten random and completely unrelated haikus. Just a warning, I was in a ****_very _****sarcastic mood when I wrote these. Number Ten is the only serious one.**

Poem 3: Ten Random Haikus

1. Glowing lightsaber  
From a more civilized age  
Cuts off people's limbs

2. The trusty Falcon  
Escapes tight situations –  
Come on, hyperdrive!

3. Jabba's buck-toothed rat  
Squeaky, annoying cackles  
Useless little Crumb

4. Han and Leia's kiss  
Passionate, sweet – Goldenrod,  
Stop interrupting!

5. The Jedi Council:  
Wise creatures with lightsabers  
Sit and do nothing

6. The powerful Force  
Mind tricks and levitation  
. . . Big deal.

7. Stormtroopers, the best  
Soldiers in the galaxy,  
Have terrible aim

8. On the asteroid  
The gigantic space slug lurks  
That thing is no cave!

9. The ice world of Hoth  
Weird creatures in a desolate  
Winter Wonderland

10. The rousing music  
Epic, gorgeous, powerful  
John Williams: Genius

**AN: And now for the sad news... Silly Star Wars Poetry is going on hiatus for a little while (although with the month-and-a-half-between-updates-situation I have now, it probably won't be that much of a change :P). Junior year is just way more draining than I expected, plus I have extracurriculars and a few other projects I want to work on, but I will NOT be abandoning this. I'll try to stockpile a few poems and hopefully update a couple of times over Winter Break. And I am still taking requests! For those of you who I haven't gotten around to writing your requested poem yet, I will eventually, I promise. **

**And to the anonymous reviewer "Crazy" ... well, you got me :P I said I'd do one for any character who appeared at least briefly in any of the movies, and if Mara Jade appeared in Jabba's Palace... I guess I've got to write it! I know absolutely nothing about her, but I'll to do a little Wookieepedia research and do my best. Thanks for the review!  
**

**So, May The Force Be With You until this series returns in December! (and afterward, of course) Thanks for reading!  
**


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